As true as it Gets..insight into my world

Phoenix

2011-03-05T17:46:00.002+05:30

Lonnng Lonng time since I can remember..
I had left someting very dear to me on a road...A road less travelled..
I had left behind my pen and expressions,
hidden in the maze of my mind..
today I revisit the old paths..
and fondly wipe the dust off...

My own musings have been calling me for long..
Someone had made me promise to never let this love go..
So here,a fresh page and a new chapter opens..
of all the tales I have collected..
let's see which one finds expression..

Vibrantmegs..I am back...hope to be there...

Voluntary confinement

2008-04-12T23:57:00.004+05:30

Have been quite surprised to note that the last entry i made was 3 months back..time has flown by really fast and i miss out the fun of blogging all this while...

Will start afresh with this poem..though not overloaded with optimism,can serve to soothe you..

It happens often and is thus not new

Those you love being very few….

Occupy they a corner in your heart

You believe it was meant to be right from the start………….

But it is in no matter of time

That your heart becomes a bird

Trapped in its own cage

It wants to fly but has long forgotton the way…

The bars are not impermeable,

Feelings and not iron is what has made them

Still the bird can’t fly

The ties hold on to him…..

It thinks of time when it flew in the sky,

Carefree and solitary

Feeling pangs of lonliness but delight at times

Though by itself

Had no ties...

It was the lord,the governer of its life..

In depths of his being but there was a longing

To be nurtured and cared for amidst harsh realities

To God it prayed day and night,

Yearning to break free from the inner bindings,

”Grant me felicity, want to experience the warmth of life,

how is it to share joys and smiles….”.

Thee granted the earnest wish,

A surge of vivacity entered it

Days and nights were filled with hope

The bird was flying like never before…

So much the mirth got penetrated in soul

Ties were forgotton like a casa’s store….

Shedding the inhibitions,

Discovering new territories

Healing the old wounds

Like sun rays washing away the night’s gloom…..

The cage had grown and had engulfed

It had become the bird’s world

Believing on the nurturing it had got

“conquer the world”,was the new thought

“Nothing can hold me back”, was the belief

Unaware of the impending sadness and grief….

The master stopped feeding the soul

Water ,love,food were obscure

Complaint did the bird do…

What it received was a big blow

Now the cage seemed so real

The bars around it,like in a jeer

Mocking at it for its foolishness

To expect the same treatement

At every moment next…

Shouts there were

And tantrums too

All that was meted is that fault lies in you…

Silenced were the complains and demands for affection

“I have a right on the master”, was just an apprehension….

Dis-illusioned it had been

Its screams were silent

And feelings trampled

Feeling the debt of gratitude

It had to move on, unwillingly it had to trudge on..

There were others now

Who had caught the fantasy of the master

All the caresses and cheers of laughter

Entertained the new ones who were like the bird

Unaware that their day would also come….

When even if they want to

They will not be able to break free

The snare is self created

And the only one who can rescue

Lies inside them….

But they cannot access it

For in the master’s company

They are ignorant of its existence…

Once again they prey to thee…

That NOW they can create their own sustainence….

From Dilli to Punjab and back

2007-12-29T23:12:00.000+05:30

Just Returned from an interesting trip to Punjab!My state of birth and the land where I feel i belong,even though have been brought up in my beloved city Delhi....
The northern belt of the country was covered with a cold wave and "carry a lot of woollens:"is what i was told by people there...so managed to dig out the warmest clothes I had and went ahead for the trip,mentally telling myself,that its just in the mind...will not get bogged down by the cold,the fog or the general gloominess that pervades the winters!!

But as they say,the environment is a reflection of you..just the day we were to reach,the sun had obliged and come out of its hibernation,thawing the state and its soil,bringing in the much needed warmth.So happy and surprised at the same time,by the pleasant weather,wondered if my woollens will be used to the extent (after all i had carried their weight on my shoulders" :0)...

The trip was adventurous in certain aspects(like travelling all alone on uncomirfmed ticket in the late evening train), but one thing that touched my heart was the journey back from amritsar to jalandhar.....

The two cities are 1.5 hours away from each other...and there are many trains that ply between them, so that the frequency is almost an hour or 2 between..but the catch is that there is a heavy rush in the trains.There are a lot of people who shuttle daily for various reasons,but the major one is moolah...lots of them have businesses in one city and need to travel to the other. And these people grade right from labourers of bihar,UP,Punjab to the localites who have become wealthy travelling many years from one city to the other...

....So being a short distance travel people don't generally buy tickets in advance and rather travel on current booking.For the uninitiated like i was,current booking means an uncomfirmed ticket which gets confirmed on your physical strength and speed to jostle among the crowd and obtain a seat even if you have to throw your slipper from window and reserve it!
So there we were,on the railway station,having an uncomfirmed ticket and quite some luggage ,smugly waiting for the train and i longing for a seat to rest and watch the sarso fields we so loved in DDLJ..and there came our train....a very long train chugging on the platform....and suddenly..suddenly alll the trace of humanity that you could find rushed towards the train's general compartment...oh oh!we thought,(and my dream of catching a seat to ponder seeming to escape me like the moving train bogies)...how will we make it??ouch the rush,save!!!
and then!a hero swung into action..the coolie we had asked to carry our luggage transformed to a spiderman and in the moving train itself,he pulled open a window and creeped inside from the 3-5 inch gap there was..the slender figure just reached inside to reserve a seat for us!

And woa,not only did he reserve a seat he came repetitively to the door we were standing and trying to get in from to take a piece of our luggage one by one and assert the ownership on the seats as each bag and suitcase was taken from us to place on the seat...and then he helped mamma n me to board the train...

I was truly touched...it was not just for money that he did it..he could have easily taken it from us and left ....but the pain and heroic deed he did was impressive.I felt something thta seems now difficult to explain,but was very humbling and touching at the same time...

so off we went on our journey,and i quite moved by the recent experience i had...the one hour passed by qiuckly... a small nap and hardly any attention payed to the ddlj fields:)..

LITERARY BLOCK!

2007-11-22T16:19:00.000+05:30

Often it has happened to the biggest geniuses in the world!it is something very common,yet a peculiar phenomenon!...this state called "literary block"...

Often there are activities and things that most interest you.Things that help you connect best to yourself! Forus Indians, someone very nicely put it"half the people in the country love cricket and the rest half like to READ!! "..OK, so I fall in the second category,for i am loathe to cricket!!

To go on about why is it(cricket) such a boring thing would take a lot of effort,and besides one does not want to talk about the subject one loathes..(any cricket fan reading this would be up against me with all arms and ammunitions,but people are not bound to love the same things,right?)...

So coming back to reading and writing(poems,articles,blogs)..few of those activities which instantly connect me to myself.There are times when one wants to escape from the harsh/boring/hollow world around,and writing or reading a book is one cocoon I always retreat to whenever the heart inside wants to feel liberated!

But off late,my literary faculties seem to have dimmed somewhere.Not only do I feel reading books as a time consuming activity,but also those books on the shelf,which I soooo wanted and was thrilled to receive stare at me accusingly,of having abondoned them!!

I wonder why such a block has sprung up.Even making an entry on the blog seems to be a difficult thing(last blog-2 months back)..Earlier when ideas to write emerged from every event and happening around,evrything seems to be drone now!

well I am no booker winner...nor do i compare to the best literattis in the country...but surely I have had my share of the block phenomena and hope that when the hobbies re-emerge ,a masterpiece takes form,like an award winning piece of work after a sabbatical!!

wISH ME!

Rain Rain Come again!!!

2007-09-29T19:19:00.000+05:30

Yssss!!Rain!..How I love it when it rains..Has the love got to do something with my name?maybe..i wont deny..for i love it since i can remember...for i have dreamt of sitting in the room with glass ceilings on a rainy day,snuggled with a book sipping hot tea in hand since forever and still do....

Oh yes..i dont like getting wet in rain.Very convenient some would say to just be a spectator rather driving in a jammed (rainy )road,longing to get home after a long day or walking without umbrella..Well then thats the way i love it!

Yesterday it rained realllly really hard..so hard and was accompanied with its best friend...the wind!!WHat a spectacle it was...what a delight it was..my heart was filled with awe..i was jumping in the house,and my parents pleasantly surprised if my cooing away was because of some other reason??they wondered if i had seen rain for the first time?Well the answer is yes and no..no because its obvious ..yes because each time this natural phenomena called rain happens it brings with it a freshness..a purifying feeling..washing away everything that it needs to..trees,leaves,roads,cars,and most important,our worries, pains deep in the heart...it seems that the falling rain and the accompanying breeze are just lifting you away..they take you away from the monotony of life,rustling your hair,swishing against your face....if you get to sit by an open window or your balcony....

Haven't so many people written poems on rain?Have n't so many movies shot their most romantic scenes in rain?haven't the kids been shown to enjoy the maximum when being soaked in rain?Its "PURE MAGIC"...

And with all the pakoras and samosas that we indias like to indulge in on a rainy day,i like it for another reason..!All the fm stations start playing songs on rain..AND That inevitably means my name is sung in those numbers!!!"from megha e megha re..to kya teri marzi hai megha(DTPH),and kaale megha kaale megha....

I leave it at that ....keep bhigoing! and post in your rain experiences!

God bless...

ps:..did i forget to mention the beautiful sound that touches your soul???

down the memory lane..

2007-09-03T23:14:00.001+05:30

It was long since I had written on my blog..rather I was wondering what I could write on..and here I chanced upon this article I had written for school's alumni magazine..I am sure its gonna be nice for my class 12 buddies to read and remember those days

"

MEMORY FRAMES……

When first told to write an article for this alumni letter,I started thinking of a particular memory I would like to pen down. My thoughts were “What particular event should I write about”? ”Is there something about the school that has left an indelible mark on me”?

Going just a little deeper ,I realized NO-There is not one thing I can pin point, because the person that I am is because of the school. My thinking, attitude, beliefs is because of what I grew up to be in MIS with the strong influence of the Ashram -the backbone of school

SO here, my dilemma ended with this realization .But yes, I would not forget to mention how in my last 2 years at school ,I totally and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Somehow, I could break away from this studious girl that I was(Much to Annapoorni mam’s delight) into someone who despite pressures from so many sides, could enjoy herself sometimes No doubt I became a struggler, giving nightmares to our physics sir-But the fact remains-we had as much fun to remember it in years to come.

Wearing lab coat with o powered spects to give that nerdy look, sneakily chattering in Rajalakshmi mam’s class, breaking the scientific monotony with Deepti Gulati Mam’s English classes and not to forget giggling, laughing with my friend Mirra-much to the pain of our class’s IIT inclined intelligentsia-Pranay, Pratik, Somani, Himanshu, Manu, Anish,…Their problem-They didn’t understand our jokes।Bigger Problem-,They could not stop our uncontrollable giggles.

Annual Days-Aaah those zero periods-Festive time in school.All taking Tara didi’s grand finale yoga sessions with mixed feelings-Groans on one side but secret happiness of having our classes cut by 5 minutes each…and being on the field.. Yipppee

The last annual day that I participated in was school’s 44th annual day celebrations. It was a ballet on India’s Spiritual Destiny and I played the role of Manthra-The clever old lady

In the Ramayana who instigated Kaykeyi to ask for the 3 promised boons from King Dashratha.(.Poor Lordrama.)What a gala time we had. Staying late for practices, sitting and gazing at the stars in idle times., pulling each others legs amidst samosas and bread pakoras,and also glancing at my friend’s crush who happened to be participating too..These form a part of the numerous things that make me feel nostalgic about school…

Where should I begin writing about my other memories..special assemblies at ashram,recitations,volley ball practices,trips to Jhansi, Pondicherry, Nainital Dalhousie…..May be another day, another page for them.

Thanks Mother, for blessings ."

Have u ever really..Flown a kite???

2007-08-14T15:43:00.001+05:30

Happy Independence Day.....

Well its 14th August..and normally I would never go to college for useless reasons..today i did.coupled with an important work,the other agenda of the day was..Flying Kites..To celebtrate Independence Day.
Sounds absurd no..Post Graduate student ..living 26-27 kms away from the college..burdened with projects (namesake)..would travel all the way through buses n metro just to fly kites??

Reached college and was told to go to the football grounds..there they were..Amit sir,the originator of the ideea,junior batch(almost) n guys from my class...already started with the delightful activity called "Kite flying:....

Sir was exhorting us all to go and fly....There was shyamal,exercising his skills to the best and on being praised declaring:"Sir hum puraani dilli ke hain"..Well good for u Shyam babu..but when will i get my chance...there were many other girls..waiting as eagerly amidst ppl running to get more kites.attempting to tie kannis of their kites,trying to get manjas(glass coated thread for flying kites..for the un-initiated)....
Here we girls were..holding the charakhris for the proud guys..lalit,nitesh,and others..and also getting the comment:ladkiyon ka yahi kaam hota hai"..enuf we thought..

and next time,the kite flew high,the thread was in my hands...waow..what a feeling it was...with the big ground to move around,adjusting your position as per the winds direction,and calls for "dheel de, dheel de",there it went..right overhead..making it difficult to stare with sun glaring at its peak..

Swooping came another kite..from a guy..trying to cut ours...and he had to lament..for it was his which got cut ...and here came our shouts "i-bow kateyyyy"""

and then i changed my team...and this one had no manja..only saddi(just the thread,no glasss coating).. .but still because of the lately acquired flying skills.I managed to save ours and prove the mettle of the simplicity ..uski bhi kat di...NOT bad i lauded myself....

Just the feeling of flying kites is awesome...never knew i would enjoy it so much.gave such a high...the feel of controlling something thats flying....the wisdom of knowing..when to pull and when to let it just be...gliding....meeting the birds...cheering calls in the background...competitors trying to reach u and remove yours from the scene....you have to experience it to believe it. and realise the feeling of Independence it gives you...Thats why maybe its flown on 15th Aug....

My account...flew3..cut 2!!

DILLI meri jaan

2007-08-06T22:55:00.000+05:30

Thanks Kinshi and Himanshu.....comments are catalysts...especially to a new blogger..:)

Was going through outlook magazine today..It carries this special edition on Delhi...
such a good feel this supplement mag has,as with the saturday edition of the MINT(the Wall Street Journal and HT collaboration) that I always get the feeling of being transported to the same place,event ,locales the papers are describing....

But the special thing propelling me to write today was the fact that The Delhi oUtlook supplement threw so much info about my own city that i was pleasantly surprised..fact and options in delhi about cheap food,cheap travel and even d\mention of this book shop where whether you buy a book or not,they serve you free Brownies,Masaala tea and Coffee!!isnt that something to rush out of your homes for,especially if you are a book lover OR brownie lover OR simply an experimentalist wanting to try out new things.

The next detail that iIsimply liked abt the write-ups is that the magazine,not only produced these amazing and catchy options(like organic food at Dilli Haat,awesome quawwalis at nizamuddin which are self explanatory about the locations but also provide the exact timings and address,phone numbers of the contact person!!unlikeother magazines and newespapers which would just leave you wondering about the places and festivals,these were very much accessible~!!

SO I am all excited and also wondering ..with dreams of BHARAT darshan and word tour have i given my adventure abilities even a chance to explore the so -mysterious and myriad delhi??maybe very soon...
so if anyone wants to catch a delhi tour or a play in our very own DILLI,you know who to contact..NO its not OUTLOOK magazine dear!!!

HAPPY DILLI-ING till the next post.......

2007-07-30T01:45:00.000+05:30

This is my life's first blog entry...not an amusing fact is it?but there's still something novel and surprising about the fact that i have chosen to start writing my blog..that is the publically displaying my feelings or opinions. This has hardly happened before..so I am forced to think..WHy do people write blogs after all?
Having questioned a friend about the same,the answer I got was "i don't know..but maybe for accolades"...yes indeed it is the underlying motive of all of us bloggers...but then there's more to it...
There are sides to us that we can't or don't reveal by our behavior..aspects of our character that people have never seen.Its these writings that show us all in a different light all together..bring out the facets of our personality that even a stranger would come to know!!

So even though my intention to start writing is not to win your praises about my writing style,vocabulary or knowledge..but still I would like that through the post there is some part of you which either connects or totally rebels you enough to post a comment..
after all we all need acknowledgement don't we[;)]?