Moving to London about 5 years back, I was completely oblivious of things I needed to be prepared for or even be aware of. I did have extended family here and few people I knew, but the knowledge of nuggets did not flow into me, and I have learnt most of the survival skills the hard way. Yes culture is one part of it, but also are the other wellbeing aspects , which if I knew earlier would have saved so much agony. So here's some experience for my other Desi women to land you in a good stead.
1. Make Merry while the Sun-shines
I landed in the month of June, which in London means 10 hours sunshine. A friend living here longer suggested I go out and enjoy a picnic! To those coming from India, we have taken the Sun, and its sunshine so much for granted that I brushed aside this suggestion conveniently. It's only when the days started getting shorter, colder, more wet and Darker, that it dawned on me that one needed to be outdoors as much as possible, not just to celebrate the Solar bounty but allow your skin to synthesize Vitamin D '.
Most of the recently moved Asian Brits suffer from this deficiency in few months of residing here and complain of lack of energy, tiredness, hair loss, and joint pain. In addition, you will probably realise that the water from the 'Thames' is very hard. Your skin feels it, and so do your hair. Yes, lack of vitamin D and hard water combined, I was also horrified at thinning and falling hair. So, please get your Vit D tested, and have supplements right from the time the winters set in.
2. Get health supplements
The London working life is much more active than the cab-office chair-bedroom read 'sedentary', lifestyle that's become the norm in India. Most of us from our generation have also our house chores being outsourced to maids/servants. Well, whether you are working or a homemaker, your overall chores in this country will toll up-from kitchen, to laundry, to cleaning to extensive unavoidable walking. While I enjoyed the walking aspect of the life here, I loathed cooking all three times. Hence the shortcuts of frozen meals, takeaways and eating out. Not so hard to guess then that my overall nutrition took a hit. In about three years time, I felt weaker than I had ever felt-losing weight, losing the healthy fat and looking very lean, and feeling very frail. So, the recommendation is to get a blood test and a doctor's check up done before you land . Good stock of natural, organic and plant based supplements, especially B12 or B complex if you are a vegetarian will also prove useful.
3. Prepare for Winters
Prepare, really?? Yes and that means mentally as well as physically. The wet, dark and cold winters are sooo lonely, that it can test good spirit in the best of us. The Months of October-April are characterized by rain, near zero temperatures, fog and snow. Mostly everyone is holed up in their dens in the evening, most supermarkets and shops shut down earlier than usual (check winter times), and the time difference with India becomes (-5.5) hours. Which means, India is already in their mid day by the time you wake up or well asleep by the time you finish work. The anti dote to this is to stock up on good movies, books, frozen parathas, and some milk, tea, and maggi (or whatever you may crave at 8 PM and can't get out to buy it!!
I will not get into the clothes aspect here, because you will realise pretty much soon that you can't do without a good overcoat, an umbrella, a bomber jacket, boots, sneakers, gloves ,cap (read hat in British lingo), and a muffler/stole.
4. Mind your language..(;))
"We have just shifted from India, and are looking for a house' ...Right, the Brits usually will get it, but they will be amused why you 'shifted' instead of 'moved' or " You can find me 'sitting' on seat at the front.' instead of 'I am sat ...', the latter being the correct usage of verb 'To Sit'. For the language conscious like me, I was embarrassed when I had to repeat, para-phrase or explain something because of the different context an in which the English people used a word. In the same vein, it did take some time for my ears to train themselves to understand the English accent.
The moral is, be unabashed. DO whatever you can to learn the words faster, and comprehend the accent, but don't feel shy or out of place. If it helps, London is a huge convergence of people from all parts of the world, and you can hear English as if it sounded Spanish..Italian ....Chinese...or Tamil. Fun Fact: Like India, depending on which region you came from in the UK, your accent will vary. The Scots, and Northern UK'ites is the next level of your ocular training ..lol
5. Don't do currency conversions for your money's worth
If there is one tip that I can share with most amount of emphasis, it is this: 1 pound is just 1 pound, and not 90 rupees. 1 kg of tomato therefore costs 2 pounds and NOT 180 rupees. (For ease I just used the current conversion rate). As it is , moving here in middle age, to a new culture, new environment, new climate and lifestyle minus the Bollywood, the convenience of next door shops, the ease of meeting people spontaneously, and a no-maids everyday is a BIG BIG adjustment for your mind and body. BY doing a conversion of the necessary food items, household consumables and public transportation costs, and finding them too costly to buy, you are just torturing yourself like I did for years. If you like Maggi, and you find it at an Asian grocery shop for 40 pence -please buy it, a bunch of coriander costing 90 pence or more, please buy it. These are the small joys of your existence, bearing some semblance with the life you have had for the past 25 or more years...don't let the 'we have to save' or'this country is too expensive' bug stop you.
The financial planning is a different game, and I hope to do a writ3e up on that too someday. but for now, that 'adrakh (ginger), lahsun (garlic) and hari mirchi (green chilli)' are waiting for you... claim them..
6. The world moves here on diaries...
As a newly married couple, our extended family wanted to invite us. Sure they did, and sure we went to have that lunch-but it was after 2 months of the initial invite call! I was a part of an NGO-and wanted to meet some members as I was missing the human connection and called the members. They gave me the next available date on their diary, which was 2 weeks from the present time. 2 weekssss!!! to wait for a decent face to face interaction!! to connect and pray together!!! And what if I didn't feel like doing any of the above in 2 weeks' time? what if I find something more amusing in that time, and what if the weather does not make me feel like going out!! Well, then too bad, I will have to entertain myself here and now with some other means!
Thanks to the busy life here, and complicated and multiple schedules to manage, people here have tasks planned out much in advance. They are organized and prepared for when the electrician will come, when their kids will need to be dropped and picked up from the extra classes, when they will go to meet their parents, r when they will go for beauty appointments, picnics, trips....literally everything!!. That means, you are always competing for time and it's best to book and get used to booking time with people as soon as the thought of catching up occurs to you. The same is true of professional meetings and catch ups.
7. Find Indian forums and groups
WhatsApp and Facebook do come to the rescue. Most localities and areas have local groups and associations of Indians or Asians to share share tips, knowledge, experiences, recipes, names of good Indian restaurants and lots more. They organise events and celebrate festivals together. Look out for groups like 'Indian Women in London', or Indians in (area name) on Facebook or ask your colleagues if they know of some. Be pro-active, reach out to people, understand how they have assimilated here and invite them to share their experiences....It's a huge support to have these groups and find like minded people to reduce your turbulence in settling here and making the country your 'home' away from home.
Keen to know of your apprehensions and fear if you are new here or views on how your settling in experiences were.
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